Hidden in Plain Sight: Recognising 5 Key Digital Red Flags

Published on 1st of December 2025

Technology has become one of the fastest-growing ways domestic and family violence is perpetrated. While digital abuse is often subtle or downplayed, Australian evidence shows it is widespread, patterned, and frequently appears before other forms of coercive control become visible.

In fact, reports to eSafety’s image-based abuse reporting and removal scheme increased by more than 960% between 2018/19 and 2022/23, driven by sharp rises in sexual extortion and image-based abuse.

The evidence is clear: technology-facilitated abuse is a core part of modern coercive control.

So, what do digital red flags actually look like - and why does recognising them early matter? These five categories reflect some of the most commonly identified patterns across current Australian research.

1. Surveillance and Monitoring

The eSafety Commissioner notes that tech-based coercive control is now a common feature of domestic, family and sexual violence, often involving constant monitoring and tracking.

Red flags include:

• Pressuring someone to share live location through apps (Find My iPhone, Life360, Google Maps).
• Using GPS tracking devices, AirTags or in-car tech to follow movements.
• Regularly checking browsing history, emails or messages through shared devices or accounts.
• Using security cameras, smart doorbells or home devices to watch who comes and goes.

The national TFA study shows that when these behaviours occur in intimate relationships, they are a key risk indicator for broader domestic and family violence and escalating harm.

2. Account and Device Control

Technology is central to banking, work, social connection and health care. Controlling someone’s access to devices or accounts is therefore a powerful form of coercive control.

Drawing on data from the ABS Personal Safety Survey, AIHW reports that 12% of Australian adults have experienced economic abuse by a partner, with women affected at about twice the rate of men (16% vs 7.8%).

In practice, this type of digital violence often looks like:

• Demanding passwords “to prove trust” and insisting on access to phones or laptops.
• Logging into someone’s social media, email or banking without consent.
• Changing passwords or security questions to lock the person out of key accounts.
• Controlling access to MyGov, Centrelink, Medicare or banking apps, limiting financial independence or access to services.
• Deleting contacts, messages or social connections to restrict who someone can talk to.

From the lens of domestic and family violence, these are not just privacy issues, rather they can be direct forms of economic and emotional abuse that limit autonomy and trap someone in an unsafe situation.

3. Digital Isolation

Isolation has long been recognised as a cornerstone of coercive control. Online, it often appears as subtle pressure to disconnect, rather than overt bans.

The AIHW highlights that young women face particularly high rates of intimate partner and sexual violence, while Our Watch’s The Line – Comfort Zone research shows how normalised some controlling behaviours have become for young people.

New data from Our Watch found that:

• More than one in four young people aged 14–20 confuse controlling behaviours (such as forced physical touch or not being allowed to leave an argument) with “healthy boundaries”.
• Only 22% feel completely confident taking action when they feel unsafe or disrespected.

In digital spaces, this can look like:

• Criticising or shaming someone for who they follow or message.
• Insisting they leave certain group chats or unfollow friends “out of respect.”
• Making them feel guilty for spending time online with others.
• Demanding instant replies and becoming angry if they don’t respond quickly.

What might be dismissed as “jealousy” or “just how relationships are now” can be early digital red flags that someone is being gradually isolated from support.

4. Threatening, Harassing or Escalating Online

National online safety monitoring shows a sharp rise in serious forms of online harm. The 2023 Online Safety Issues Survey, found that in the past 12 months:

• 18% of adults had their location tracked electronically without consent.
• 16% had received online threats of real-life harm or abuse.

In a domestic and family violence context, digital threat and harassment can include:

• Bombarding someone with calls, texts, DMs or voice notes, often particularly late at night.
• Sending explicit threats or ultimatums about harm, custody, income or immigration status.
• Threatening to share intimate images, or repeatedly mentioning images that were once consensual.
• Creating new accounts after being blocked to continue contact.
• Misusing children’s phones, gaming accounts or tablets to contact or monitor a parent.

Research from ANROWS emphasises that technology-facilitated abuse by a current or former partner should be treated as a clear risk indicator for multiple forms of domestic and family violence, not as a standalone “online” issue.

5. Financial Control Through Technology

Financial abuse has always been a common form of coercive control. Today, much of it is carried out through digital tools and systems.

The AIHW’s FDSV summary reports that:

• Around 2.4 million Australian adults (12%) have experienced economic abuse by a partner since the age of 15.
• For women, that figure rises to 16% (about 1 in 6).

Digital financial abuse can look like:

• Restricting or blocking access to online banking or key financial apps.
• Using shared banking, email or MyGov access to monitor every transaction.
• Changing passwords, PINs or security settings without consent.
• Refusing to authorise digital payments for essentials, or cancelling them at the last minute.
• Creating debt digitally in someone’s name, or misusing buy-now-pay-later, subscriptions or loans.

These behaviours not only cause immediate harm, they limit someone’s options to leave, access legal help, travel, or establish financial independence.

Why early recognition matters:

Across all the research, a shared picture on digital violence emerges:

• Digital abuse is real violence, not a lesser form.
• It rarely occurs in isolation, in fact, it often sits alongside emotional, physical, sexual and financial abuse.
• Tech-based behaviours are frequently early warning signs of coercive control.
• Risk often escalates during and after separation, when people who use violence may intensify digital surveillance, threats or financial control.
• Some groups, including young women, First Nations women, women with disability and LGBTQIA+ communities, are disproportionately impacted.

Recognising these patterns early allows frontline workers to validate a person’s experience and connect them with appropriate specialist supports.

Build your confidence with DV-alert:

DV-alert workshops equip frontline workers to:

• Identify technology-facilitated abuse as part of domestic and family violence.
• Understand patterns of coercive control, both online and offline.
• Recognise red flags early.
• Respond safely and avoid actions that increase risk.
• Refer to services such as 1800RESPECT, eSafety and other local supports.

Explore upcoming workshops:
http://www.dvalert.org.au/enrolmentlistings

Every Space Safe:

As the 16 Days of Activism continues, we’re reminded that safety must extend beyond physical environments.

Homes need to be safe. Workplaces need to be safe. Digital spaces need to be safe.

Recognising digital red flags early is one of the most powerful steps we can take to prevent harm, support those who have experienced violence, and uphold safety as a fundamental right, offline and online, in every space.